my grandfather has ALS (Lou Gehrig’s Disease) what can i do to help him?
he’s getting progressively worse, and i se him every other weekend and love to help him, but are there any certain things i can do to make him happy? (he’s in a wheelchair) and i want to make him happy
I don’t know about how much your grandfather likes to talk but if he does, get him to talk about his childhood, his family, where he’s been, what’s he’s done and yes, even his opinions on things. You could even "tape" these dialogues.
One thing that some people - although certainly not all - like is to have people interested in THEM and what they have to say.
Not only might your interest in him make him happy but it will be important to you in years to come because you will have his answers to questions that you will no longer be able to ask him.
Naturally you can help with chores around the house - you can keep him up to date on your activities - you can ask his opinion and for his advice. But I think that he might enjoy those memory visits to an easier time - no matter what he lived through.
I realize that my suggestion might not be possible depending upon the progression of his ALS. I don’t know if his speech is too slurred now to be understood or if it is audible - all the more reason to tape what he has to say. His breathing and swallowing difficulties might prevent long conversation.
If that is the case, look around his home to see what needs to be done and do it without him having to ask - although you should tell him that you would like to do…whatever it is…ask him if he has a preference.
Since usually in ALS the senses of sight, touch, hearing, taste and smell are not impaired perhaps he would like to take a "walk" in the neighborhood…unless he’s in a nursing home already.
You know your grandfather better than we do. What were was he interested in before he developed ALS? Would he like your assistance writing to old friends? Would he appreciate library books about subjects that interest him? Would he enjoy being online? Perhaps you could help him with that if he has access - perhaps he could teach you something.
Are there family photo albums you could look at with him as a way to spark stories and recollections? Would he like to just sit quietly with you and watch videos? Listen to music - his, probably not yours - you could learn about him by hearing the music that makes him happy.
He is going to be made happy by your presence and your love - grandparents are funny that way - so what you do should make both of you happy - aside from the chores.
Have you talked to your aunts, uncles, parents and others who knew him when? They might shed some light on his interests. You could put together a family album with him at the center, so to speak with a bit of help from everyone.
Look to your head for the right answers, your heart is already there.